I’ve been thinking about what I want to say to you for a few weeks. In truth there’s a lot (you should see my drafts), but none of it seems all that pressing. What I want to know is how you’re getting on. I realize this newsletter isn’t much of a two-way conversation, but I’d like it to be. So tell me, how are you?
Lately I’ve been preoccupied with the responsibilities of being an adult—bills, work, a car with AC issues, classes, etc. Also the sort of thing I’ve always been preoccupied with—the gap between what I see in front of me and what I see when I close my eyes.
I have so many ideas, so many dreams, that it tends to make me anxious. I’m trying to take a deep breath. I read something recently, “Action relieves anxiety.” So that’s what I’m doing. When I start to feel anxious about the gap, I log in to the class I’m taking and work, or I write yet another draft of an idea. I do something, even if it’s small, rather than simply wish for it and kick myself later for wasting my time thinking about a hypothetical future.
A lot of people around me seem to be feeling this restlessness. Is it just the time of year, the lingering effects of winter as we wait for spring? A friend proposed it was due to the pandemic. 2020 and 2021 were spent trying not to drown in it. 2022 was a year to recover from the burnout. And now 2023. Well what is it, exactly? We’re ready to move on but we don’t yet know to what.
What else?
They tell us not to live in daydreams, that the only way to get the life we dream of is to be present and to do the work. I think they might be at least a little bit right, but I love daydreams. I see nothing wrong with a little dream to get you by.
Mine is fairly simple: I wake up slow, I work without unnecessary chatter, I read a lot, and I wander the streets of a beautiful city all afternoon. What about you?
Just one more thing…
I read this little book recently titled 84, Charing Cross Road, which consists of the letters from a twenty-year correspondence between an American writer and a British bookseller. It’s as charming as it sounds, I promise. It made me wish I had someone to write to. Then I thought, I guess maybe that’s you.
xx