“As it has been said: Love and a cough cannot be concealed. Even a small cough. Even a small love.”
-Anne Sexton
It’s Valentine’s Day. It’s also my birthday.
Most people dislike having their birthday on a holiday, but growing up I loved it. I thought Valentine’s was the perfect day for a birthday. It’s not Christmas, so I wasn’t overshadowed, but it is a holiday so everyone at school remembered it and brought me extra gifts. I enjoyed the extra attention.
In my teenage years and into my 20’s I decided I wouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I guess I had let something make me feel a little bitter about holiday birthdays. I had let something make me feel a little bitter about love, or the spectacle of it. Valentine’s Day can feel so kitschy. Giving people flowers and candy doesn’t prove love. It seemed to me so superficial, so cliche.
As I’ve gotten older I have had a love/hate thing with it. Maybe I’ve turned too soft, but having the world celebrate love on your birthday is a wonderful gift. Even if it isn’t directed toward me, I like seeing all the love this world still contains. But with that comes the impossibility of snagging a dinner reservation, or of ever having a party on my actual birthday.
I’ve wavered on my feelings about my birthday (and Valentine’s Day) for most of my adult life. But Jack Kerouac once said, “Cliches are truisms and all truisms are true.” And I’ve decided it’s never cliche to tell someone you love that you love them, no matter the circumstances. There is so much love to offer to our loved ones, but also to strangers and to the world.
Everything is temporary. I am temporary and you are temporary. But the love we create while we’re here is so, so permanent. So I’m sending you a small and gentle love today, no matter the circumstances. I hope you can feel it.
Happy Valentine’s Day. :)